THE
JESTER AND THE KING
The
following short verse play is a folk comedy based on an old folk
tale. It is written in a form used before the more complex iambic
pentameter of the Elizabethan playwrights. That form is rhyming
couplets of iambic
tetrameter-
four iambic (unstressed, stressed) feet per line:
Your
pretty purse is running dry
And
we need gold
to see us by.
THE
JESTER AND THE KING
SCENE
ONE
QUICKFELLOW'S
BEDROOM
Note-
King’s throne and Jester’s bedroom can be on one stage. Throne
back stage left, bedroom forward stage right with appropriate changes
of lighting.
AS
LIGHT FOCUS ONE COMES UP WE FIND QUICKFELLOW ASLEEP ON HIS BED,
SNORING. GRETA ENTERS FROM ENTRANCE ONE, SINGING WITH A BROOM IN HER
HAND.
GRETA
(SINGING)
The
fox went out in a hungry plight,
Prayed
for the moon to give him light . . .
GRETA
NOTICES QUICKFELLOW
GRETA
Wake
up, you empty bag of wit;
The
sun has hardly risen yet,
And
here you are, asleep again.
WITH
MOCK SOLEMNITY GRETA KNIGHTS QUICKFELLOW ON THE STOMACH WITH THE
BROOM
GRETA
Arise,
Sir Laziest-of-Men!
QUICKFELLOW
WAKES UP WITH A START
QUICKFELLOW
Eh?
Pondering, just pondering.
GRETA
Well,
ponder on this problem then:
Apply
your much-acclaimed, great wit
To
something that's in front of it;
Your
pretty purse is running dry
And
we need gold to see us by.
QUICKFELLOW
That's
just what I was working on-
For
as you note, our gold has gone,
Like
dancing dust before the storm,
Like
sparkling stars before the dawn.
But
how am I to get some more?
Now
that's the problem, to be sure.
It
is too soon for kingly gift,
And
is too late for saving thrift.
GRETA
(SARCASTICALLY)
The
quickness of your thought, the fine
Swift
keenness of your clever mind,
Are
truly wonderful to see!
Such
brilliance and such clarity!
Such
penetrating insight, found
With
grasp of all that is profound!
I
could have told you that myself!
QUICKFELLOW
( WITH PHONEY DIGNITY )
Dear
Nag, you've wasted all the wealth
Bestowed
on us by our good king,
At
our sad time of marrying,
In
three short month of squandering-
With
pretty dresses, perfumed airs,
And
flashing jewellery from fairs.
GRETA
I
like the sound of that! No doubt
You
have forgotten all about
Your
all-night revelling, your gifts
To
short-lived enterprises: lifts
On
fortune's road to its dead end.
And
all the other coins you spend
With
good friends in the gambling trade-
And
of your fine clothes, tailor-made.
QUICKFELLOW
The
wheel of fortune turns its way,
And
what was once is not today.
So,
as they say, what's done is done.
No
need to quibble, dearest one.
Still,
things don't look too good for us.
The
way I view the matter's thus-
As
yet I dare not ask for more;
The
king throws spendthrifts out the door.
GRETA
You'd
better think of something fast;
Or
else our present state is past.
QUICKFELLOW
(DEJECTEDLY)
My
mind is blank, my brain is dry.
I
see no plans in my thought's eye.
We
can't get married once more- that's by-
So
all that we can do is die!
QUICKFELLOW
SITS DEJECTEDLY ON THE BED BUT SUDDENLY SPRINGS UP AS AN IDEA STRIKES
HIM
QUICKFELLOW
Greta,
Greta, that's it! Let's die!
GRETA
(IRONICALLY)
Quickfellow
wait; just let me try
To
guess- this worry's warped your brain,
And
now you're really quite insane.
We
need to live so we should die:
We
need to laugh so we should cry,
Or
rest our legs by a mountain climb.
QUICKFELLOW
No,
no! I've really got a plan this time.
Now
listen closely to my pretence.
I'll
seek a special audience
With
his most royal Majesty.
All
onion-teared, in misery,
I'll
tell him how you passed away,
Most
sadly, only yesterday.
Yes,
you have gone- so I'll relate-
A
victim of a cruel fate,
And
after dearest treatment too . . .
For
only the best of all would do,
And
that, of course, took all our gold.
GRETA
Where's
all this leading, dear Sir Bold?
QUICKFELLOW
Oh,
Greta, come now, don't you see!
True
brilliance is bound to be
Built
on a strong simplicity.
I'll
have to ask his Majesty
For
gold to bury you, as is fit,
I'm
sure he won't mind giving it.
He
won't mind paying properly
In
such a time of tragedy.
GRETA
Well,
mind you don't end hanging loose
Upon
the end of a hangman's noose.
QUICKFELLOW
No
fear, my love. no fear of that!
I
won't end up the one who's flat.
Indeed,
to be quite sure of my prediction,
I'll
play my part with real conviction.
So
it shall be! Now you lie low
And
off with my sad news I'll go.
GRETA
All
right, I'll vanish from court view.
I'll
disappear from day; but you
Take
greatest care to sound quite true!
GRETA
GIVES QUICKFELLOW A KISS AND SHE EXITS VIA ENTRANCE ONE. QUICKFELLOW
CROSSES TO EXIT ONE, SINGING.
QUICKFELLOW
(SINGING TO HIMSELF)
A
fox went out in a hungry plight,
Prayed
for the moon to give him light,
For
he'd many a mile to trot that night
Before
he could reach his den-o, den-o, den-o;
He'd
many a mile to trot that night
Before
he could reach his den-o. . .
QUICKFELLOW
EXITS. LIGHTS FADE
SCENE TWO
THRONE
ROOM. AS LIGHT FOCUS TWO COMES UP WE FIND KING FREDERICK ON HIS
THRONE WITH DODDERPUSS ATTENDING HIM
FREDERICK
Does
any courtier crave to be heard
For
judgement by the royal word?
DODDERPUSS
Your
Highness, none but a worthless, cunning sort.
FREDERICK
I
have no worthless man in court.
Who
do you mean, old Dodderpuss?
No-
do not answer, I can guess!
My
jester Quickfellow wakes your scorn;
Though
but a harmless, pleasing pawn,
Untroubled
by affairs of state-
A
joker whose quick wits create
Diversions
from the cares of power,
And
laughter in a carefree hour.
And
sometimes through light foolery
We
see a truth more totally:
Our
viewpoint's changed, we drop false pride
And
see things from another side.
So
what's he do to earn your hate?
Go
now, and bid him enter straight!
DODDERPUSS
(BOWING STIFFLY)
Yes,
right away, your Majesty.
FREDERICK
(ALONE, MUSING)
All
foolishness and trickery
Does
not come clothed in motley dress.
But
often, like old Dodderpuss,
Parades
itself with pompous airs,
Self-spun
importance and proud stares.
DODDERPUSS
ENTERS, FOLLOWED BY QUICKFELLOW
DODDERPUSS
Master
Quickfellow.
QUICKFELLOW
(BOWING)
Your
Highest Majesty!
FREDERICK
Well,
what is this? What's this I see?
A
stooping grief, a face of woe,
A
quivering lip, the eyes' moist flow-
No
jesting quickens your mind today,
You
look quite stricken by dismay.
QUICKFELLOW
(WITH PATHOS)
I
fear that sad news brings me here,
Your
Highness, for I've lost my dear;
The
only jewel of my days
Has
vanished from my grieving gaze-
My
dearest dear has left this life,
My
dearest, darling, little wife!
My
gentle dove has flown away
Into
the endless blue of day!
My
sweetest sweet, my only love,
Has
gone to that vast realm above!
Yes,
after all the best and most
Expensive
treatment, stinting no cost,
My
own good Greta passed away,
Most
sadly, only yesterday.
FREDERICK
There
is but one thought for your pain:
Our
earthly loss is heaven's gain.
True
faith can temper your distress
As
time goes by. Consider this:
We
all must die one day, you know.
QUICKFELLOW
(HASTILY)
Ah
yes, indeed, indeed that's so.
However,
I'm still weighed down with woe;
The
cost of trying to keep life's hold
On
her has gobbled down my gold,
And
I have nothing left at all
To
give her decent burial.
FREDERICK
(TO DODDERPUSS)
Go;
give him some gold immediately.
QUICKFELLOW
A
thousand thanks, your Majesty.
QUICKFELLOW
BACKS OUT BOWING PROFUSELY. HE EXITS VIA ENTRANCE TWO. DODDERPUSS
GOES TO FOLLOW HIM.
DODDERUSS
(TO HIMSELF, ANGRILY)
More
money for the thieving-bold:
A
sorry tale becomes good gold!
DOODERPUSS
EXITS
FREDERICK
(WITH A SIGH)
And
so my jester has no smile;
And
will not have for quite a while.
The
grim-faced, bony dancer bests
The
laughing life of jokes and jests.
FREDERICK
EXITS, SHAKING HIS HEAD. LIGHTS FADE.
SCENE THREE
QUICKFELLOW'S
BEDROOM. AS LIGHT FOCUS ONE COMES UP, WE FIND GRETA SITTING ON BED
GRETA
I
wonder how Quickfellow's faring:
With
gold or trouble for his daring.
High
in his growing tree of schemes
He's
on a thinner branch of dreams.
In
reaching for the last, gold apple
He
must take care he doesn't topple.
He
must not break what he has bent
With
scheming that's too confident!
QUICKFELLOW
ENTERS VIA ENTRANCE ONE, CARRYING A SMALL SACK IN HIS HAND. HE PLACES
THE SACK ON THE BED WITH AN AIR OF TRIUMPH.
QUICKFELLOW
Much
richer than I went, I come!
A
perfect ploy, my dearest one-
It
worked just like smooth scene played,
Perfected
by the actor's trade
So
I return, as I foretold-
A
hundred pieces of pure gold!
GRETA
(WITH A SMILE)
You
think that's clever. Then see this.
SHE
PULLS OUT TWO SACKS FROM BENEATH THE BED
Two
hundred! Not a fraction less!
QUICKFELLOW
What!
What! How did you conjure that!
You've
really knocked my posing flat.
GRETA
A
perfect ploy, my dear. You see
The
mirror of your trickery;
I've
twice supplied our golden lack-
Just
your idea turned on its back.
I
thought that two might try this scheme;
So
went, sad-widowed, to the queen,
And
told her of your cruel demise,
With
quavering voice and tear-stained eyes-
And
came back with the golden prize.
QUICKFELLOW
(LAUGHING)
Oh
Greta, you're really worse than me!
You've
grown well versed in villainy.
A
THOUGHT STRIKES HIM
By
now our case gains complication-
Your
news will carry no relation
To
mine now when their Majesties
Compare
diverging destinies.
Two
tales and neither of them true-
It's
bound to mix a deadly brew.
I'd
thought to prop up this pretence
While
I dreamed up a good defence.
So
now we have no time to waste,
We
must be off in greatest haste.
The
king and queen are meeting soon,
As
usual, in the afternoon.
Let's
hurry now and pack our things,
We
needs must grow migrating wings.
GRETA
Yes,
we must move immediately-
Time
tells of tales' disparity.
QUICKFELLOW
GOES TO GATHER THE SACKS, BUT GRETA WITH A SLIGHT PETULANCE TAKES HER
TWO. THEY EXIT VIA ENTRANCE ONE, LIGHT FOCUS ONE FADES.
SCENE FOUR
THE
THRONE ROOM
AS
LIGHT FOCUS TWO COMES UP WE FIND KING FREDERICK AND QUEEN FREDERICA
ENTERING AND GOING OVER TO SIT ON THEIR THRONES.
DODDERPUSS
AND LADY SMALLTALK IN ATTENDANCE
FREDERICK
But
Frederica, my own dear,
I'm
telling you that he was here!
One's
own good ears, one's own clear eyes,
Would
seem fair witness to the wise.
What
you relate ties riddle's knot:
What
cannot be, can not- is not.
They
cannot both be drawing breath
And
silent in the still of death.
So
dearest, I can only deem
What
you relate a wakeful dream.
Let's
please pursue some slight degree
Of
sense and logicality.
FREDERICA
So
like a man! He must become
Infallibility's
own son!
While
woman cannot have the wit
To
read one line of truth's own writ.
No,
Frederick, I'm telling you
That
all I'm telling you is true:
She
visited this very day.
Not
three, short hours have slipped away
Since
Greta came to me and said
Her
dearest husband was quite dead.
All
widow-worn and weeping-eyed
(Her
man spent all before he died)
She'd
neither gold nor jewellery
To
see him buried properly.
FREDERICK
I
understand you feel quite sure,
However,
as I said before,
You
must be dreaming, dearest one!
Quickfellow
seemed quite overcome
When
he set forth his woe to me:
And
he produced a similar plea.
DODDERPUSS
Permission
to speak, your Majesty.
FREDERICK
Permission
granted, Dodderpuss.
DODDERPUSS
(EAGERLY)
Perhaps
I could. . .look into this,
And
make a call of sympathy
To
find who's really. . .dead, you see.
FREDERICK
Of
course, why not? So it may be.
Go;
bring the answer back to me.
DODDERPUSS
Yes,
right away, your Majesty.
DODDERPUSS
BOWS, SHOWING OBVIOUS EAGERNESS.
FREDERICK
RISES, TAKING FREDERICA'S HAND
FREDERICK
Come,
Frederica, we shall wait;
The
facts shall soon end all debate.
And
what is true then all shall see
As
true in truth's simplicity.
FREDERICK
AND FREDERICA EXIT, FOLLOWED BY LADY SMALLTALK
DODDERPUSS
COMES FORWARD
DODDERPUSS
(ALONE)
At
last a chance has come my way,
Oh,
perfect, pleasing, joyous day,
To
catch that jesting ratbag out. . .
His
tale is false, I have no doubt.
My
nose detects a nasty pong;
I'm
sure somehow that something's wrong!
I'll
teach him to make a mockery
Of
courtiers with his trickery.
Why
should he be paid for idle days
Of
laughter, jokes and jesting ways?
I'll
pin him firmly in his place
And
wipe the smirk right off his face
I'll
foul this little trick of his-
I'll
show what sort of man he is.
DODDERPUSS
EXITS. LIGHT FOCUS TWO FADES.
SCENE
FIVE
QUICKFELLOW'S
BEDROOM
AS
LIGHT FOCUS ONE COMES UP WE FIND GRETA LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM
GRETA
(TO HERSELF)
The
hours turn towards the rise of night
Which
brings obscuring of the light;
The
blue becomes star-patterned sphere,
And
under its cover we'll get clear.
Beneath
the shelter of the dark,
The
cloak of sleep, we shall depart
For
other lands, for other days,
With
gold to pave our laughing ways.
So
I should hurry up and be
Prepared
for our good odyssey;
I
must be finished packing soon-
Do
I need anything from this room?
GRETA
CONTINUES SEARCHING. QUICKFELLOW ENTERS IN OBVIOUS AGITATION FROM
EXIT ONE, LOOKING OUT TOWARDS AUDIENCE RIGHT.
HE
TURNS HURRIES TOWARDS THE BEDROOM
QUICKFELLOW
By
hell's black hounds, what shall I do?
I've
really thrown us in the stew!
GRETA
What's
wrong with you? You look so pale:
As
if a ghost were on your trail.
QUICKFELLOW
Much
worse, much worse is what I've seen!
Oh,
what a feeble fool I've been!
You
see, I've just seen Dodderpuss
Quick-tottering
down the road towards us.
That
nasty, nosy, telltale nit
Has
sniffed the scent of my deceit.
He's
seized his chance with our parading
Of
puzzling griefs, and thus persuading
King
Frederick to send him out
To
check my story's deal of doubt.
Let's
see. . .let's see, there's one wild chance:
We
called the tune, we'll join the dance!
Or
turning terms another way,
I
shall impress with grief's display!
Quick-
throw yourself down on the bed,
And
lie there still, like one who's dead.
I'll
pull this sheet right over you,
And
hide you wholly from his view.
GRETA
I'll
be so still I'll strike belief-
But
you must be most moved by grief!
GRETA
THROWS HERSELF ON THE BED. QUICKFELLOW PULLS UP THE SHEET, THEN GETS
DOWN BY THE SIDE OF THE BED, READY TO LAMENT
QUICKFELLOW
As
soon as he trots into view
My
tears will start, so hot and true.
AS
SOON AS HE SEES DODDERPUSS HE STARTS LAMENTING. DODDERPUSS HAS
ENTERED VIA ENTRANCE TWO AND HE COMES DOWN AND AROUND THE SCREEN TO
THE BED.
QUICKFELLOW
(LAMENTING)
Oh
how I cry, oh how I sigh,
Right
to the broad and dusk-red sky!
For
disappearing is the day,
And
my light too has gone away!
My
dearest dear, now we're apart,
Oh,
grief, oh grief just grips my heart!
My
little love, now you're laid low,
My
soul is so weighed down with woe!
My
sorrow is an aching load,
To
bear on life's long, bitter road!
Oh,
now you're dead, my dearest wife,
How
empty seems the rest of life!
DODDERPUSS
Excuse
my interruption, sir-
I've
come here as a messenger. . .
That
is to say. . .not of. . .new news,
But
of His Majesty's grave views.
In
short, to speak my purpose swiftly,
That
is. . .condense the matter briefly-
His
Majesty, His Royal Highness,
Great
be His Realm, in all its fineness,
The
King, that is, said to convey,
In
further measure than his way
In
audience had seemed to say,
Deep
sympathy on this dark day.
QUICKFELLOW
Oh,
Dodderpuss, what shall I do?
The
grief just pierces me right through!
QUICKFELLOW
THROWS HIMSELF ON DODDERPUSS, HIS ARMS AND HANDS PAWING AT HIM
SUFFICIENTLY TO MAKE HIM UNSTEADY
DODDERPUSS
(HURRYING TO EXTRACT HIMSELF)
Please
pardon me, I do not know
Quite
what to say about your woe.
I've
given you my message, so
I
must be gone, I'm bound to say. . .
For
I have much to do today,
So
I must get back right away!
DODDERPUSS
EXITS HURRIEDLY VIA EXIT TWO QUICKFELLOW GOES OUT TO SEE HIM GO
QUICKFELLOW
(TO HIMSELF)
I'm
truly glad to see you go,
You
sneaking, prying so-and-so.
TO
GRETA
Well,
that is that! Once more we're free
To
finish packing now and flee.
GRETA
(RISING)
When
we are many miles from here,
It's
then I'll feel we're in the clear;
I
do not trust their Majesties
To
let us rest in simple ease.
QUICKFELLOW
(TURNING BACK TO THE BEDROOM)
You
may be right, indeed you may!
We'll
finish packing right away.
SUDDENLY
QUICKFELLOW NOTICES SOMETHING ELSE, OFF AUDIENCE RIGHT
By
all the powers of heaven, no!
Our
trouble doubles in one blow!
GRETA
What
is it now? Why do you stand
Like
one who sees doom near at hand?
QUICKFELLOW
Another
unwelcome, prying bore
Will
soon be calling at our door.
That
gossipy, old bag of air,
Your
mistress Smalltalk, is over there;
And
carefully coming a different way
From
master Dodderpuss, I'd say.
The
queen has sent her here, I guess.
She
doesn't trust old Dodderpuss,
She
thinks that he will just report
What
fits the king's own favoured thought.
We'd
better act, she's getting near!
GRETA
JUMPS UP FROM SITTING ON BED
GRETA
I
know the queen; she hopes to hear
A
different tale from her old horse!
And
there she's right- she will, of course!
For
differing report delays
Perception
of our cheating ways;
Their
majesties can argue on-
For
very soon we shall be gone.
Our
fortunes wheel like birds in the sky;
Come
on, it's your turn now to die.
GRETA
AND QUICKFELLOW QUICKLY CHANGE PLACES
GRETA
(LAMENTING)
Now
you are dumb, oh, dearest one,
Now
you've fled life, now you are gone,
Oh
woe is heaped on hopeless woe-
Now
that your soul's gone down below!
My
foolish love and loving fool,
Now
subject to tormenting rule!
Oh,
husband dear, you've left your wife,
How
empty seems the rest of life!
AS
SHE HAS BEEN SPEAKING LADY SMALLTALK HAS ENTERED
LADY SMALLTALK
My
pretty, dear, young-featured thing,
Still
sipping from life's joyful spring,
I'm
sad to see you sorrowing;
I
grieve to see you wrapped in grief-
We
must be brave that's my belief!
In
fact, the queen has sent me here
To
try to comfort you, my dear.
So
take this now and dry your eyes;
One
wrinkles more, the more one cries.
LADY
SMALLTALK OFFERS HER A HANDKERCHIEF
GRETA
Lady
Smalltalk, what shall I do?
The
grief just pierces me right through!
GRETA
THROWS HERSELF ON LADY SMALLTALK AS QUICKFELLOW DID TO DODDERPUSS.
LADY
SMALLTALK
Control
yourself, dear. After all,
Don't
take this wrongly now, my girl,
You
could find better any day-
That
is, you see, I mean to say,
There
are many men, fine dukes and such,
Who
might be well within your clutch.
The
Good Lord gives and takes away-
But
tomorrow is another day!
For
such is life. Our present woes
Seem
ever smaller as time goes.
No
need to waste your younger years
On
storms of sighing and of tears.
GRETA
BACKS TOWARDS THE BED
GRETA
(ARCHLY)
I
guess you're right there, in a way:
A
spendthrift fool on holiday,
That's
how he's lived and now he's paid
The
price of endless masquerade.
Though
I'd implore him to improve
And
run within a steady groove,
Wise
words are wasted on the ear
That
never hears when trouble's near.
No
doubt I could do better than
That
thoughtless, ever-jesting man.
HIDDEN
BY GREAT AND THUS UNSEEN TO LADY SMALLTALK, QUICKFELLOW SWIFTLY SLAPS
GRETA ON THE BOTTOM FOR THIS LAST REMARK. GRETA REACTS WITH A LOOK OF
SLIGHT SHOCK. LADY SMALLTALK TURNS BACK TO HER AND NOTICES HER CHANGE
OF MOOD
LADY SMALLTALK
I
see you're feeling better now!
No
need to lose each lovely hour
In
sorrow when there's much to do!
I
knew you'd see my point of view.
No
point in fretting for what's flown;
Far
better seeing what you own.
The
future furthers those who choose
To
use whatever they can use.
You
have to pluck the best each day
From
twists of fate that come your way.
Well-
I must hurry off, my dear;
Queen
Frederica is eager to hear
Some
news of how you're feeling now.
GRETA
Oh,
thank you for calling at this sad hour.
LADY
SMALLTALK EXITS. QUICKFELLOW SITS UP ON THE BED
QUICKFELLOW
How
that old galleon does rattle;
Her
sails puffed-out with spite and prattle!
She
loves to sail near to the fray
And
let her cannons blast away!
Still,
now she's gone, we'd best lie low
And
wait until the storm clouds go.
We
cannot try to run just yet.
GRETA
(THOUGHTFULLY)
The
fish is tangling in the net;
Our
ship is running on the rocks;
The
hounds are closing on the fox;
The
mouse has seen the traps are set.
I
hope their Majesties forget
This
matter of who's dead or not.
QUICKFELLOW
They
haven't yet quite yet sprung the plot.
Don't
worry love, we'll find a way
To
slip the problems of this day.
GRETA
I
hope that your hope's justified,
Or
we'll be well and truly fried!
GRETA
EXITS
QUICKFELLOW
(TO HIMSELF)
Yes,
it is easy to seem calm;
But
calm is no defence from harm.
SINGING
SOFTLY TO HIMSELF FROM THE FOX AS HE STRAIGHTENS THE BED
Now
John he ran to the top of the hill,
And
he blew a blast both loud and shrill,
Said
the fox, "That's very pretty music, still
I'd
rather be in my den-o, den-o, den-o."
Said
the fox, "That's very pretty music, still
I'd
rather be in my den-o."
LIGHTS
DIM. HE EXITS.
SCENE SIX
THE
THRONE ROOM. AS LIGHT FOCUS TWO COMES UP, WE FIND KING FREDERICK AND
QUEEN FREDERICA ON THEIR THRONES.
FREDERICK
Well
now, my dear, the truth shall be
Revealed
in all its clarity-
My
messenger returns to me.
Now,
once and for all, we shall see
Which
one of our once-happy pair
Has
flown forever from earthly care.
DODDERPUSS
ENTERS
Come
Dodderpuss, now did you find
Which
one has left this life behind?
DODDERPUSS
Indeed
I did, your Majesty.
It
is. . .the wife, undoubtedly.
FREDERICK
(SMUGLY)
Well,
there you are, my dear, you see
It
is the wife- undoubtedly!
FREDERICA
(CROSSLY)
There's
only one thing that's quite clear:
You're
just told what you want to hear.
I
won't rely on that old stick!
POINTING
TO DODDERPUSS
He
won't trip me with his weak trick!
You
know he's only pleasing you-
You
see, I know it can't be true.
LADY
SMALLTALK ENTERS
Ah,
Lady Smalltalk, I'm glad you're back;
On
strictest oath, just give the facts.
So
tell us all, now you've been round,
Just
what is it that you have found.
LADY
SMALLTALK (BOWING)
Your
Majesty, just let me say,
The
husband's dead, it's clear as day.
FREDERICK
As
clear as day you say to me-
As
dark as night it seems to be.
But
those who hold the power of state
Must
keep a clear head in debate.
And
in all things clear wisdom sees
That
true impossibilities
Just
cannot be; and so must test
Alternatives
to find what's best.
This
foolish matter bothers me
With
challenge of absurdity.
WITH
SUDDEN DECISION
Thus
I'll not let this matter be,
But
lift the veil of mystery!
And
so it is I'll find who's right
Or
I'll not rest in bed tonight.
TO
DODDERPUSS
Go;
ready the fastest coach for me;
My
queen and I shall go and see
If
we can trace the golden thread
That
leads to truth's clear fountainhead
Through
all the muddy maze of doubt.
When
we're both there we shall find out
This
riddle's reason which unlocks
The
single truth in paradox.
FREDERICK
AND FREDERICA EXIT, LEAVING LADY SMALLTALK STARING AFTER THEM. LIGHTS
FADE.
SCENE
SEVEN
QUICKFELLOW'S
BEDROOM.
AS
LIGHT FOCUS ONE COMES UP WE FIND QUICKFELLOW ON HIS BED.
QUICKFELLOW
(REFLECTIVELY)
Although
we cannot run just yet,
For
things are far too hot for that-
The
rabbit hugs to briar hedge
While
ever the fox still roams the edge;
We
can't stay here a long time, for
We
cannot even cross the door
And
thus appear in public view.
But
shortly, when the fuss is through,
We'll
take upon us some disguise
And
slip away from prying eyes,
And
set up in another place,
With
another name for this old face.
But,
for the present, all seems clear.
GRETA
RUSHES IN, GESTURING FRANTICALLY
QUICKFELLOW
The
cat has eaten your tongue, my dear?
GRETA
(BLURTING IT OUT)
The
king and queen themselves have come.
You
fool! Now look what you have done!
QUICKFELLOW
Please
pardon if I need correction-
Was
I alone in this deception?
GRETA
GOES TO ANSWER
QUICKFELLOW
Scratch
that! No time for long debate!
What
can we do? We can't escape!
Oh,
have we left it all too late!
THINKING
The
king is calling at our gate-
HE
HAS A SUDDEN DESPERATE THOUGHT
We'll
greet him in our proper state.
In
other words, lie down while I
Lie
by your side; we both shall die.
GRETA
You're
right! There's nothing left to do
But
show them both, we both are through.
THEY
LIE DOWN QUICKLY AND QUICKFELLOW DRAWS THE SHEET RIGHT OVER THEIR
HEADS. FREDERICK AND FREDERICA ENTER, FOLLOWED BY DODDERPUSS
FREDERICK
Well
now, my dear, at last we'll see
The
answer to this mystery.
HE
LOOKS AROUND
Two
bodies here now, it would seem.
So
what on earth does all this mean?
DODDERPUSS
Perhaps.
. . he. . .died from his distress.
FREDERICA
(FIRMLY)
You
mean, she died, old Dodderpuss.
FREDERICK
(MUSING)
I
need a weathervane to show
Which
way the winds decide to blow.
As
what is true is surely true-
Another
answer comes in view.
SLYLY
If
anyone came back to life,
I
wouldn't wish that they died twice.
In
fact, I'd give this diamond ring
To
know the truth about this thing.
HE
TAKES A RING FROM HIS FINGER
QUICKFELLOW
(PEEPING OUT SIDEWAYS FROM UNDER THE SHEET)
Your
Majesty, may I oblige?
My
wife, who's lying by my side,
Has
suddenly recovered breath
And
woken from apparent death.
And
so the truth, it would appear,
Is
that we're both still really here!
QUICKFELLOW
SLIDES OUT, LEAPS UP, AND TAKES GRETA BY THE HAND, SHE RISES. THEY
BOW.
FREDERICA
(WITH A SMILE)
And
so the truth is found at last:
That
both are present and not past.
FREDERICK
(WITH A LAUGH)
Yes,
that's the truth. I might have guessed
All
this was but a crafty jest!
DODDERPUSS
(FURIOUS)
Justice!
I demand he die
For
weaving this disgraceful lie!
FREDERICK
(LAUGHING LOUDER AT DODDERPUSS' ANGER)
Yes,
justice shall be done in this!
TO
QUICKFELLOW
You
are my jesting clown, no less?
QUICKFELLOW
(NODS AND BOWS)
With
that position I am blessed.
FREDERICK
And
thus for jesting you are paid?
QUICKFELLOW
Your
Majesty, that is my trade.
FREDERICK
And
this was all a jest you made?
QUICKFELLOW
Indeed,
Your Highness, that is so-
A
trick, a joke, a little show.
FREDERICK
And
yet indeed a teaching too,
Instructing
us in what is true.
For
even if it were not planned,
It's
shown a blindness of command.
The
half of truth each time we got,
And
yet that half at once forgot.
If
we had not been blinded by
Delight
in arguing, the lie
Would
not have worked so readily-
Truth
would have been seen easily.
Thus
we can learn opinion's worth
Is
just a pinch of dusty earth!
GIVING
HIM THE RING
So
take this ring as pay from me,
But
in future spend more sparingly.
For
all that you have conned this day
I
shall regard as future pay
For
some years' jesting and merriment
That
I'll expect you to present.
WITH
A BROAD GESTURE
Come
all, let us continue now
This
merry start to night's first hour.
KING
FREDERICK TAKES FREDERICA'S HAND AND THEY EXIT, FOLLOWED BY
DODDERPUSS, STILL GRUMBLING TO HIMSELF. GRETA FOLLOWS THEM.
QUICKFELLOW POCKETS THE RING AND STARTS TO EXIT, SINGING THE FOX ,
WHICH WE HEAR TILL IT FADES AWAY ON THE LAST LINE.
QUICKFELLOW
(SINGING)
Then
the fox and his wife, without any strife,
Cut
up the goose without fork or knife.
They'd
never had such a good meal in their life
And
the little ones chewed on the bones-o, bones-o, bones-o;
They'd
never had such a good meal in their life
And
the little ones chewed on the bones-o.
LIGHTS
FADE.
THE
END.
